Consider and pursue the alternatives to divorce before opting for a permanent split. These alternatives include mediation, therapy, group sessions, time apart or just time off from work to get your emotional and communicative affairs in order with your spouse. Think of divorce as a last ditch effort if these restorative efforts do not work. There are reasonable exceptions to this rule, however, such as abusive relationships.

Consult with an experienced divorce attorney who is licensed to work in the state in which you are married. An initial consultation is customary between a divorce lawyer and a new client, and attorneys often charge their usual hourly rate for them. Plan to use this session to better understand your legal rights and the types of divorces available to you.

Go to the family law department of the courthouse in your home town or city to file official divorce papers. If you've retained a divorce attorney, he may be able to do this on your behalf or walk you through the filings.

Begin gathering financial statements and records going as far back as possible, including all receipts and statements of joint accounts and purchases as well as records predating your marriage. Your attorney should be able to advise you on which specific records are most important, as well as any necessary ones that you may be missing.

Determine, with the assistance of your attorney, the method of your divorce. If there is hostile tension between you and your spouse, it may be that the only effective means of finalizing the divorce is to have the majority of the negations and arrangements made between the attorneys. If you and your spouse are on amicable terms and feel that you might be able to agree on most divisions of property, custody and support, you might be a candidate for a cooperative divorce.

Begin making child custody plans if you and your spouse have children. Following your filing of divorce papers, the court should extend custody mediation services to you and your spouse. These mediators, along with your lawyers and, if necessary, family court judges, can help you establish the fairest plan that serves the best interests of the child or children. The specific method of making custody agreements will likely depend on the type of divorce selected in the previous step.

Follow the specific instructions and requests of your attorney and the court over the following weeks and months. The length of your divorce will depend largely on the complexity of the division of property and support rulings, child custody agreements and the state in which the divorce takes place.

Conclude your divorce with either a settlement or a trial. In a settlement, the two parties and their lawyers strike agreements on all matters of division which are then presented to a judge for signing. A trial is only required when a settlement cannot be reached, and at the conclusion of the trial, a judge will issue a final ruling on all unsettled matters of property, support and child custody.